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A True Cracker's Dictionary 
of Medical Terms
Hilarious White-Trash Stealing White-House Silverware
Anti-Body against everyone
Artery study of paintings
Bacteria back door to a cafeteria
Barium what to do when treatment fails
Bowel letters lik A E I O or U
Caesarean Section a district in Rome
Cardiology advanced study of poker playing
Cat Scan searching for ones lost kitty
Cauterize made eye contact with her
Colic sheep dog
Coma punctuation mark
Congenital friendly
D & C where Washington is
Dilate to live long
Enema not a friend
Fester quicker
Genes blue denim slacks
Genital non-Jewish
Hangnail coat hook
Hemorrhoid a male From outer space
Herpes what women do in the Ladies Room
Hormones what a prostitute does when she doesn't
Impotent distinguished, well known
Inpatient tired of waiting
Labor Pain hurt at work
Medical Staff a doctor's cane
Minor Operation coal digging
Morbid a higher bid
Nitrate cheaper than the Day Rate
Node was aware of
Organic organ repairman
Outpatient a person who has fainted
Paralyze two far-fetched stories
Pharmacist person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
Post-Operative a letter carrier
Protein in favor of young people
Recovery Room place to upholster furniture
Rectum what happened to the Corvette
Rheumatic amorous
Saline where you go on your boyfriend's boat
Secretion hiding something
Tablet a small table
Terminal Illness getting sick at the airport
Tibia country in North Africa
Tumor an extra pair
Urine opposite of "You're Out"
Varicose nearby
Vein conceited

 Following the news that a 59-year old woman has given birth, we are 
pleased to announce that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother,
age 93) is expecting a child.  Her Majesty is naturally delighted by the 
success of the pioneering operation which took some tissue from her late 
husband, King George VI (believed to be a scrap of fingernail found 
underneath the carpet) and used it to reconstruct his DNA.

The news does have deep constitutional implications, since, if the child 
turns out to be a boy, he will be the legitimate king of the U.K.,and Queen
Elizabeth will automatically abdicate in favour of her younger brother.  The
new king will be discouraged from going anywhere near journalists, portable
phones, or women called Camilla.  He will also be discouraged from talking 
to trees.

When asked whether she felt that 94 would be too great an age for her to 
bear a child, the Queen Mum replied, "Well, you're as young as you feel, 
I always say.  After all I'll only be 112 when the baby reaches adulthood, 
and that's no age at all."

It is thought likely that scientists will soon be able to reconstruct DNA 
patterns given far lessinformation - typically the subject's name, address,
date of birth and telephone number (or possibly just even the e-mail 
address).  This naturally will lead to severe moral dilemmas, as women 
anxious for children hack into databases looking for suitable fathers.

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Reload The National Diabetes Center Frames